I have been stressing my entire time in Houston. I took this trip to get away for a few days, but it was always on my mind. I got home today, and found out that we have more time. I knew that everything would be okay. We are good people, and there is no way that this is the end for us. God has a plan for us and I know this.
It was a really good trip with the girls and it couldn't have came at a better time. I drove down to Houston with a couple of my friends to visit my roommate and another one of my girls. The drive was nice and easy. I loved seeing all of the trees. You realize when you leave the city how little trees we really have. I felt the same way when I went to Baltimore last summer. New Years Eve was a lot of fun. We hung out at my friend's house until after midnight and then went back to the hotel and hung out some more. It was pretty chill, but always a blast with the girls. The next day we relaxed at the hotel for a while and then we went off to the Woodlands mall. We were only there for about an hour because apparently they close at 6 on New Years day. I was feeling everything I was trying to runaway from and that's when the whole "Tell me a joke" thing started. My lovely friends came through for me. That night we went back to the hotel and watched Sweeney Todd and Despicable Me. Before we drove back we stopped and visited my husband and the in-laws (Taylor, my roommate and her parents). The drive back was fairly smooth. We didn't hit any traffic and the weather was nice. Overall I would say it was a really good break from the break!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
I lost my smile. Tell me a Joke.
I was sad thinking about home today. I was worrying about everything I tried to escape. I have some wonderful friends who are always not there, but here for me, so It started with a text... I lost my smile. Tell me a joke.
This is what I got:
A Jew joke too horrible to say. It didn't make me smile, but he tried again later and it worked.
A not so much joke. It did make me smile, but it's a little gross... I should have expected that from Choni!
So a giraffe walks into a bar and falls asleep on the floor. The bartender walks in and says whats that lyin on the floor, and a guys says that's not a lion that's a giraffe... so cute! I love Christine!
So a little boy is running in the streets. Fast. Haulin ass. It's like 2 in the morning. So a cop pulls the little boy over. He asks him, why are you running little boy? The little boy says because my daddy beats me. What about your mom little boy? She beats me too he says. So the cop asks, so where are you running? The little boy says, to the Dallas Cowboys stadium, they don't beat anyone... This one was the best! Especially coming from Adam who doesn't watch football, but he knows I am a Cowboys fan.
What did one math book say to another math book? We've got problems!
There was a boy who threw butter. When they asked him why he threw it, he said he wanted to see a butterfly!... my baby, Axell is so cute!
Why do accountants make good lovers? Because they're good with figures.
If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? Darling, could you tell me about your work?... Vaughan did good with these! Hanna and I appreciated them :)
I love them so much!
This is what I got:
A Jew joke too horrible to say. It didn't make me smile, but he tried again later and it worked.
A not so much joke. It did make me smile, but it's a little gross... I should have expected that from Choni!
So a giraffe walks into a bar and falls asleep on the floor. The bartender walks in and says whats that lyin on the floor, and a guys says that's not a lion that's a giraffe... so cute! I love Christine!
So a little boy is running in the streets. Fast. Haulin ass. It's like 2 in the morning. So a cop pulls the little boy over. He asks him, why are you running little boy? The little boy says because my daddy beats me. What about your mom little boy? She beats me too he says. So the cop asks, so where are you running? The little boy says, to the Dallas Cowboys stadium, they don't beat anyone... This one was the best! Especially coming from Adam who doesn't watch football, but he knows I am a Cowboys fan.
What did one math book say to another math book? We've got problems!
There was a boy who threw butter. When they asked him why he threw it, he said he wanted to see a butterfly!... my baby, Axell is so cute!
Why do accountants make good lovers? Because they're good with figures.
If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? Darling, could you tell me about your work?... Vaughan did good with these! Hanna and I appreciated them :)
I love them so much!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Happy New Year!
I am in Houston spending the last night of the year with my beautiful friends! I feel guilty for leaving the family at a time like this, but maybe it was what I needed, to get away from the things I can't control. I've made my list of resolutions. I just hope 2011 is a better for us!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
☮ ♥ ॐ
Last night I had an anxiety attack. For some reason whenever I have an anxiety attack I always think of calling one person. This person always calms me down and makes me feel a lot better. Last night it occurred to me that this makes me slightly dependent on other people which is a really scary thought. I decided against calling and eventually fell asleep. My goal is to find a new and productive way to channel that negative energy.
I started listening to the audio book The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita by Swami Kriyananda. I fully intend on reading the actual Bhagavad Gita, but if you have ever tried reading it you would notice that it is a really complicated and deep text. I want to be able to have the time and someone to sit with me and explain what it means. Someone older and wiser of course. I am not going to pretend that simply reading a translated copy would be enough for me to get the true meaning out of the words. For now I want to listen to his explanation and pick up some deeper meaning to my life. One thing that he wrote really stood out to me. He uses a bar magnet in an analogy. A bar magnet has molecules that face in a single direction creating a north/south polarity. People have magnetism creating an attraction or a repulsion to other people. When many magnets are turned every which way they cancel each other out. Many magnets together pointed in the same direction create magnetic power. When people say they try to be good, but they sometimes fail. He says that you need the population around you to support you in order to be successful in your endeavors. The good thing about attracting enough people to the greater good is that eventually more people will conform furthering you in your spiritual growth.
Anyways, his voice is calming and I find a lot of inspiration in it. The list of things I want to accomplish this semester/year is for sure going to have something about getting closer to God. This is a good definition of Hinduism: a body of religious and philosophical beliefs and cultural practices native to India and based on a caste system; it is characterized by a belief in reincarnation, by a belief in a supreme being of many forms and natures, by the view that opposing theories are aspects of one eternal truth, and by a desire for liberation from earthly evils. I love that Hinduism isn't a religion so much as a philosophy of life. Call me foolish, but I was driven to tears today and I asked my mom how I get a guru. I feel so distant and awful because of the thought that I'm not as religious as I would like to be. She said to me that I am too young and when she was my age she didn't have a guru yet. She told me a girl should wait until she is married to devote herself to a guru because her new family might be devoted to a different guru. I see the flaws in this plan, but I don't feel so awful thinking I'm on the wrong path to God. I idolize my mom for her devotion. She believes with her whole heart that God has a plan for her. I believe the same. This year I want to chant my mantra that I was given years ago, but with more commitment and using a Mala. I also want meditate. Of course I want to do more research on the meditation, but I think it would be a good way the learn to channel my energy and find clarity.
☮♥ॐ... I think I must have been a hippie in another life.
I started listening to the audio book The Essence of the Bhagavad Gita by Swami Kriyananda. I fully intend on reading the actual Bhagavad Gita, but if you have ever tried reading it you would notice that it is a really complicated and deep text. I want to be able to have the time and someone to sit with me and explain what it means. Someone older and wiser of course. I am not going to pretend that simply reading a translated copy would be enough for me to get the true meaning out of the words. For now I want to listen to his explanation and pick up some deeper meaning to my life. One thing that he wrote really stood out to me. He uses a bar magnet in an analogy. A bar magnet has molecules that face in a single direction creating a north/south polarity. People have magnetism creating an attraction or a repulsion to other people. When many magnets are turned every which way they cancel each other out. Many magnets together pointed in the same direction create magnetic power. When people say they try to be good, but they sometimes fail. He says that you need the population around you to support you in order to be successful in your endeavors. The good thing about attracting enough people to the greater good is that eventually more people will conform furthering you in your spiritual growth.
Anyways, his voice is calming and I find a lot of inspiration in it. The list of things I want to accomplish this semester/year is for sure going to have something about getting closer to God. This is a good definition of Hinduism: a body of religious and philosophical beliefs and cultural practices native to India and based on a caste system; it is characterized by a belief in reincarnation, by a belief in a supreme being of many forms and natures, by the view that opposing theories are aspects of one eternal truth, and by a desire for liberation from earthly evils. I love that Hinduism isn't a religion so much as a philosophy of life. Call me foolish, but I was driven to tears today and I asked my mom how I get a guru. I feel so distant and awful because of the thought that I'm not as religious as I would like to be. She said to me that I am too young and when she was my age she didn't have a guru yet. She told me a girl should wait until she is married to devote herself to a guru because her new family might be devoted to a different guru. I see the flaws in this plan, but I don't feel so awful thinking I'm on the wrong path to God. I idolize my mom for her devotion. She believes with her whole heart that God has a plan for her. I believe the same. This year I want to chant my mantra that I was given years ago, but with more commitment and using a Mala. I also want meditate. Of course I want to do more research on the meditation, but I think it would be a good way the learn to channel my energy and find clarity.
☮♥ॐ... I think I must have been a hippie in another life.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
No Words.
I have no words for this. How did we get in this deep? He wouldn't tell me what was going on, but all I hear now is that something has to happen or we lose. We lose everything. How am I supposed to sleep tonight? I'm praying for a miracle.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
PetSmart Animal Cruelty
Today I decided to explore the PETA website. I am surprised that I have never done it before now. The site is really interesting. It has stuff about animal cruelty, brands and products that test on animals, designers who use fur, and even information on going vegan/ vegetarian.
I stumbled across a section where PETA is pleading to its followers not to shop at PetSmart until they take action in response to the discovery of animal cruelty. I love animals, but I was never allowed to have anything but fish. When I go to get a new Beta fish I always think to go to PetSmart. Did you know that the supplier that ships the beta fish to PetSmart packs them into tiny plastic bags with barely enough water for the fish to live. I watched these two videos that came with the article and I am horrified! I'm sorry PetSmart, but you just lost a loyal customer. I don't want to bring the mood down, but I think this is important enough to spread the word. Please watch this video. I'm not going to post the video about the baby Giffin's cockatoo. I was even more horrified, but feel free to click on the link if you are curious. Also, visit the PETA website.
here is a video about the supplier:
I stumbled across a section where PETA is pleading to its followers not to shop at PetSmart until they take action in response to the discovery of animal cruelty. I love animals, but I was never allowed to have anything but fish. When I go to get a new Beta fish I always think to go to PetSmart. Did you know that the supplier that ships the beta fish to PetSmart packs them into tiny plastic bags with barely enough water for the fish to live. I watched these two videos that came with the article and I am horrified! I'm sorry PetSmart, but you just lost a loyal customer. I don't want to bring the mood down, but I think this is important enough to spread the word. Please watch this video. I'm not going to post the video about the baby Giffin's cockatoo. I was even more horrified, but feel free to click on the link if you are curious. Also, visit the PETA website.
here is a video about the supplier:
Monday, December 27, 2010
Wrong in All the Right Ways
At the beginning there is a "big" girl saying I'll eat because there's no sense in trying to be that unrealistic cardboard cutout everyone wants me to be. To me this video says why try to fit the stereo type, just be you. Raise your glass to being different. Here's to the underdogs! I've spent my entire life trying to be "cool" worrying about what other people think. Its not even that I was trying to stand out, but just fit in. I hated standing out. I used to wish I could blend into the walls. Oh God does it feel good to be who I am and not "give a shit." It took me a while to realize it, but someone will love me for who I am, so why try to fight it? I would only be unhappy pretending to be someone I'm not. I'm not that same shy little girl who started college at UNT three years ago. I'm not afraid to be wild and crazy! I don't care if I stand out. I found that more people like me when I'm myself anyways. I have always loved everyone else, but I couldn't love myself. I've heard that you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. I'm a really good person, at least I think I am, so why shouldn't I love myself? I do now! I LOVE MYSELF! I have grown so much this semester, and I am ready to be back at school and with the people who understand where I'm coming from. It's not that I don't love my family or that I don't want to be around them, but I am looking forward to the new semester/ fresh start.
So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won't you come on, and come on, and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise Your Glass!
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